|Emma and Teddy|
Their mother, the filmmaker, employed techniques that may annoy some - my hubby was so unimpressed by its black and white, 1920's look he didn't even refer me to it. I only discovered it myself yesterday during a routine Google scavenge - and I actually liked the old-fashioned touch. (No, we don't agree on everything.)
I found the film's content poignant but also troubling. Emma genuinely adores Teddy. At one point, after listing his many limitations, she gushes: "I love him, though, a lot."
My own children, on the other hand, I can safely say, do not adore C. They are wonderful, amazing, caring, loving, sensitive, intelligent and hard-working children but simply do not have any feelings for her.
This film left me wondering whether I am to blame for my other children's attitudes toward C.
When they were young, I never urged them to interact with her; never criticized them for their apparent indifference to her. The fact that C.'s disabilities demanded enormous sacrifices from the entire family seemed to me enough of a burden for them. I also presumed that loving a sibling with such profound disabilities is a challenge that most children were not up to.
But was I wrong? Should I have pro-actively fostered a relationship among my other children and C. Or would that have been unfair? Might it have made them resentful? Is it possible that C.'s disabilities - even more profound than Teddy's - really made loving her impossible for most children?
I'm grappling with this new facet of our angst. Your thoughts would be welcome.