Monday, December 14, 2015

The post benzo era

Self-portrait (detail)
I haven't written for a while since the news hasn't been terrific. We have endured on a daily basis a string of severe seizures that continue for up to 45 minutes each. They look horrific and leave C. a virtual Raggedy Ann.

Friday's event included a blood-stained sheet presumably from C.'s bitten tongue.

I concede that there is no rhyme or reason to this, but these near-status epilepticus episodes cause me to melt down. My ever-calm and rational Hubby points out that after nineteen years of this I should be able to keep my cool. I wholeheartedly agree with him. I should. But I can't.

And in addition to the emotional toll it takes, these episodes - which we haven't had for several years - clearly enhance my already ample array of wrinkles as you can see in this self portrait.

We're still hoping that all this is a side effect of C.'s being entirely off her benzodiazepine.

2 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I'm so sorry. Weaning is brutal. I wish you continued strength and courage and for an easing of C's seizures and discomfort.

The Sound of the Silent said...

Thank you so much for your continued support. Don't forget that if I hadn't discovered your blog, I would never have learned of or embarked on this journey of cannabis and weaning.