Sunday, July 27, 2014

Endings and beginnings

My mother passed away on Thursday at 5:25 pm and I was relieved both that her suffering ended and that she was not alone when she breathed her last breath. 

My brother and I were at her bedside. Not that she was aware of that - she actually seemed to have left this world several days before. Despite the strained relationship we had, I am sad that she is gone. 

Here is a photo of her, taken by my father, at the age of nineteen, around the time they married:

And here is the last of many sketches I did of her while she faded away, done two days before she died:
Through it all, we have been giving C. her cannabis and adjusting to the instructions we were given.

The 3 daily doses must be administered no closer than 4 hours apart, together with a meal, placed under the tongue and at least an hour before she goes to sleep. Now the last two are to maximize absorption but are posing problems. After losing several doses and suffering a few painful bites from C., it's clear that I'm no match for the "super glue" between her tongue and her lower palate. 

I'm now resigned to placing it on the tongue instead. And some nights, I just can't manage to give the last dose that long before putting her to bed. 

We do the best we can.

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

I am sorry to hear of your mother -- I find your simple sketch of her quite powerful.

And, I'm not sure whether this will help you, but we are not nearly so exact with the dosing schedule and manner that Sophie is taking her CBD oil. She gets it three times a day -- shot into her mouth with a syringe. She has the first when she wakes up or around 8:00 in the morning, not with food. She has her second dose at around 3:00 in the afternoon, again without food. The final dose is at around 10:00 pm and also without food. Food can help with absorption, but we haven't noticed any difference when given with it or without.